Why do people cheat and have affairs?

For as long as people have been getting been married, people having been cheating and having affairs! Every situation is different and everyone has their own reasons.


Our research has shown that many men cheat on their wives and want to bang another man’s wife and these are the reasons why:

  1. The thrill and excitement. Sometimes after years of marriage some people may bored and feel the need to inject some excitement in their lives. Doing something you shouldn’t and the possibility of getting caught can provide that excite. The act of ‘cheating’ can be a turn on and a thrill.
  2. No-strings sex. Having a fling or an affair can sometimes provide sex without the commitment or the baggage of a relationship. Often, flings are purely sexually providing both parties with sexual gratification.
  3. The most common and obvious reason is lack of satisfaction in the relationship. If someone thinks they are in a failing relationship they will be easily tempted to look elsewhere and start and affair. Some couples in this situation could benefit from relationship counseling before reaching this point.
  4. Some mean chase other men’s wives simply for the thrill of the chase and the primal feeling of stealing another man’s woman.
  5. Some people in relationships experience a fear of commitment and set about sabotaging their relationship in an effort to escape. Sometimes a person can do this unconsciously and without realising what they are doing.
  6. Because they can. In the old days there was a lot of work involved. You had to find someone to have an affair with for a start! But now hook-up and affair sites make it all too easy and sex is almost on tap these days.


The most popular and by far the easiest way to find potential partners and have an affair is online dating. The rise in popularity of apps and sex dating websites has made finding partners to cheat with so much easier and in some ways, safer. Do dont need to cheat with their neighbour or work colleague. You dont need to trawl the bars, pub and clubs. A few clicks from the comfort of your home and you can arrange to meet a stranger for sex or for a date. Finding someone to cheat with is easy. Not getting caught is the hard part. For tips and advice about how to cheat without getting caught, check out our guide to cheating.


Not surprisingly, hotels are the most common places go to cheat. It’s safe, easy and out of public view. But sometimes people dont intend to cheat or there is no obvious motivation for them to cheat. Sometimes just the thrill of cheating is enough to pursued people cheat. This can happen virtually anywhere. A club, a bar, a shopping centre, changing rooms. Find out some of the surprising places people have had sex in public on our ‘Sex in Public’ blog post.

Accurate statistics about cheating and affairs is hard to find.¬† We lie about how much we have sex and we lie even more about how much we cheat!¬† Also, what constitutes as cheating can be a grey area. Logging into a hook-up site, sexting a colleague or an emotional affair without any physical contact. Are these all still affairs? I guess it’s just down to the individuals perspective.


  1. All of a sudden, there are secrets. Hidden receipts and bills. Secret email accounts. Hidden mobile phones.
  2. Your partner starts taking more care of their appearance. New clothes, new aftershave, new hairstyle.
  3. Change in their daily schedule. Late nights at work, extra long meetings, business trips.
  4. Their mood swings from good moods to bad moods. Whatever happens in their secret relationship more often than not finds its way to their real relationship.
  5. Their sex drive goes through the roof or disappears completely. That said, a low sex drive can also be a symptom of stress, illness or depression so bear that in mind too.
  6. Any mention of the above creates a hysterical tantrum and accusations of you not trusting them.

While people are getting married, people will continue to cheat, for a variety of different reasons. It’s just a fact of life unfortunately. If are considering cheating, whatever your reasons and do it safely and carefully.

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