How to have an affair and get away with it!



There needs to be a degree in art of cheating! It seems like such a trendy thing to do, but most of us have no idea how to do it properly and not get caught!

Some people believe cheating to be an adventurous, thrilling activity that doesn’t require planning or prepration, but only a fool would start an affair without planning and taking precautions!

Affairs are fun and exciting but can have consequences. Don’t risk your psychological, emotional, and financial well-being. A little forward-thinking can make it safer and easier. Here are our top tips to cheating!

The majority of people who cheat make the easy mistake of unconsciously ignoring their main girlfriend or wife. Make sure you keep interacting with her as you did before you started the affair. If you and your woman spent each night talking about your day at the office followed by a few hours of passionate intimacy, then you need to keep doing that! If you don’t have the stamina; I suggest investing in some ginseng, Vitamin C, or even popping a few Viagra if need-be to keep your number one chick satisfied! Don’t come home, roll-over, and go to sleep without making love and talking to her for more than two nights in a row! That’s a dead give-a-way!

TIP 2: INVEST IN A “PAY-AS-YOU-GO” PHONE Never use your main mobile, landline, or work-number to communicate with your side-girl! You don’t want your wife or girlfriend to find the phone bill with calls made to the same unknown number over a period of time. A cheap pay-as-you-go mobile is your new best friend! Soundsa a little secret agent but buy the phone with cash! Avoid using credit, debit, or cheques for this transaction. Keep the phone on vibrate and erase the ENTIRE call-log history, just in case the phone is discovered. Get in the habit of doing this everytime you use the phone to communicate with your side-chick.

TIP 3: AVOID SENDING TEXT MESSAGES, EMAILS, FB MESSAGES, AND TWEETS Deniability is crucial. Even with the prepaid phone, it’d be in your best interest to avoid sending text messages. People have been known to save messages as evidence to blackmail you. Rare but possible. Avoid sending them at all costs; they will only come back to bite you in the behind. Also, refrain from sending any emails, facebooks, or tweets. In fact, your mistress shouldn’t even have access to your email, facebook, or twitter account. If, by chance, they do find you on any of these social networks, block them! It seems cruel and heartless, but remember what’s it stake if you are found out.

TIP 4: AVOID PLACES YOU GO TO REGULARLY Never cheat in places that you frequent on a regular basis. Naturally, carry out your affairs in hotels, never at your home. Also, avoid your favourite resturant, pub, club or bar while with your bit on the side. I suggest carrying out all of your “extra affairs” on the other side of the city or town; if you find yourself hanging in the south-side of your city, then consider taking your side girl to the far-north area of your city. This will minimise your chances of being found out by anyone you or your main woman knows.

TIP 6: KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT Don’t tell your mum, brother, sister, father, best-friend, co-worker, priest, pizza-man, milk-man or post-man about the affair going on. It will only come back to bite you in the ass! Again, keep that deniability going. If your best friend, parents, or nan are ever confronted by your number 1 lover, they will be able to contend your innocence. This is a great idea, especially if your primary girlfriend or boyfriend knows that you tell certain individuals everything about your life.

TIP 7: WASH YOUR BODY WITH ODORLESS SOAP Most soaps have a particular scent! Do not have sex with girl, and then wash your body with Dial soap, if Safeguard is used in your home. This will raise a red-flag. Women dont miss a trick! Purchase oatmeal based soaps like Aveeno that are odorless! This way, you’ll still be able to cleanse your body after having sex with your mistress while avoiding any scents that will raise the suspcion of your significant other.TIP 8: CARRY FEBREZE Scents and smells are a dead give away. If your mistress wears perfume it’d be a great idea to carry Febreze with you. The Febreze will eliminate the smell of their fragrance from your clothes. The best time to spray your clothes is after the orgasm, but before the shower so the Febreze has time to dry on your clothes.

TIP 9: DEFINE THE TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP WITH MISTRESS It is vital to have an extremely frank and honest conversation with your mistress. Discussions about whether your relationship is strictly for sex and pleasure or a possible real relationship at some point in the future should be had. Also, conversations how often you plan to meet should be had. Lastly, it’d be a great idea for you both to come up with different plans on how to handle getting caught if it ever occurs!

Good luck, and dont get caught!

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